Steph1598pdx ~ Blog

Hello everyone!

I will be posting blogs about anything that's going in my life and what I see around me.

I will do a "Song of the Week". Which is whatever song is stuck in my head, or in honor of some movie/a tv show episode that recently/previously came out, thus having the song that they used for the promo clip is stuck in my head...

You may recognize my name, and that's because I have a youtube account
www.youtube.com/steph1598pdx
where I'll be posting stuff that I see locally and I might make more mashed up music, if it's requested.

I do have another youtube account it's www.youtube.com/rosepirates59
~ Tuesday, September 24 ~
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Puffy eyes…

first convo.
then~
second convo
jealousy?
nope. 
good. 

doubts.
insecurities.
hurt.
why?
knowing
sure
real
how?
memories
hangouts
long talks
space and time
watching distance
missing piece
waiting

painfully
insomnia
holding on.
believing.
scared
fears.
overthinking.
wanting.
slowly losing.
thinking
lost my chance.
missing piece again.
angry.
trust?
lately
night dreams
past self.
hurt
heart breaking.
crying.
sleep it off
goodnight.
tears flowing
more
cried self to sleep.
 

 

Tags: last night puffyeyes
~ Sunday, September 22 ~
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Late Night Thoughts 2013 #8

So I’ve been trying to not overthink too much lately. I am aware that once in a while I would slip back to my little old habit. But hey! It’s not as frequent as it was before! Can I say progress?! :)

However, I think I’m having one of those days/moment when I notice that I’m always constantly feeling this ‘sinking’ feeling whenever a past relationship topic gets brought up… Okay, okay, okay! I know I’m being ridiculous and maybe sensitive, but I can’t help the fact that my mind would suddenly jump to the “what if” door that I have in my head!  Maybe the sinking feeling I’m getting is because I’m thinking about ”what if …”:
-I had never been able to get that chance to be with you.
-I had lost my chance because you had actually found someone else
-I never have met you…
Yes, those are the three main “what ifs” that are constantly behind that what if door I have in my head and it does make me sad to think about.

On days like this I feel like I’m somehow mentally bracing and preparing myself for that one day I’m dreading.

~*-*~

Lately when I’m not having down days like this, I’m only thinking about today and taking it in on step at a time. I tell myself that it’s going to be okay and that patience is the key right now… 

Using all my strength and willpower to hold on still.

Why?

I have very strong feelings for this person. Maybe one day, he’ll meet me where I’m standing halfway.

One day~ :]

Tags: Late Night Thoughts 2013 8 days like this i really really do like you
~ Monday, May 6 ~
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Where do I go from here?! I just let go the one person who I really care about go… that feeling i had a while back was right… they are the one that got away. I’m back to emo mode. eeeeeffffffffff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


~ Saturday, May 4 ~
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IT’S MY F***ING BIRTHDAY!!!

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I AM OFFICIALLY 21!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

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WAIT! I’m getting old…

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BUT I’M 21!!!!!!!!!! ♥ :))

Tags: 21
~ Friday, April 26 ~
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Late Night Thoughts 2013: #9

GAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

It seriously feels like my heart just got ripped out of my chest, crushed into pieces and got roasted on a skew… repeatedly…

 -sighs- and why do I get a feeling that the time that was asked, is never going to end completely…

… 

… 

… 

Maybe it is all my fault….


~ Sunday, April 21 ~
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Late Night Thoughts 2013: #8

A bittersweet dream is just a dream right? It’s sad if you make it to be and it’s a happy one if you hold onto that part that makes a person smile.

Time ticks slowly, but learning how to get stronger each day will lead to that one day in the possible future…

Tags: missing someone dream dreamsyoualwayswalkin one day
1 note
~ Friday, April 19 ~
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doctorwho:

It’s a Small World After All

(Source: flapperorslapper)


18,918 notes
reblogged via doctorwho
~ Tuesday, April 16 ~
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Late Night Thoughts 2013: #7

Trust you, I still do.


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Late Night Thoughts 2013: #6

I miss someone.

However, I can’t really do anything about it because I’m respecting the request for space and time…. I guess going away for the weekend is a good idea…

Tags: respecting gaaaaahhhhhh
~ Monday, April 15 ~
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Late Night Thoughts 2013: #5

There has to be a way that to turn off those overly thought thoughts and to numb the heart that feels like that it’s being ripped out of the chest, crushed, & being dragged to the bottom of the ocean repeatedly every time that name is mentioned… 

Tags: heavyheart reflecting space respecting sulky
2 notes